


Love Like You

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, i also love bill, i love missy, set sometime in season ten probably closer to the end, yes the title is an su reference, you can tell im mad about spyfall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:07:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22166122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Missy had seen a lot of things in her life. She’d lived through the horrors of the Time War, watched the stars burn out and die, and had endured a Gallifreyan holiday party in which the Doctor had gotten drunk, stripped down to his underwear, and danced the macarena on a tabletop.Another thing Missy had seen, but struggled to understand, was the strange and fascinating concept of love.
Relationships: Twelfth Doctor/Missy
Comments: 10
Kudos: 59





	Love Like You

**Author's Note:**

> Takes some inspiration from a fic by LieutenantSaavik, but otherwise original! Hope you enjoy!

Missy had seen a lot of things in her life. She’d lived through the horrors of the Time War, watched the stars burn out and die, and had endured a Gallifreyan holiday party in which the Doctor had gotten drunk, stripped down to his underwear, and danced the macarena on a tabletop. 

Another thing Missy had seen, but struggled to understand, was the strange and fascinating concept of love.

The Doctor loved. He was full of love, he RADIATED love. Sure, sometimes he acted distant from it, pretending to be the mean old man that he seemed to be on a physical level, but if you paid close enough attention, it was obvious that the Doctor loved with every fiber of his being, that he loved to an extent that seemed impossible to anyone, but especially to Missy.

Missy could see love in the way his face shined with delight when he rambled on and on about some scientific concept that none of his companions could understand, talking about the stars as if they were his best friends, speaking of time itself as if it were a part of him. 

Missy could see love in the way he touched the controls of the TARDIS, as if he was scared that he could hurt the machine. Missy knew he would never intentionally hurt it, but she didn’t understand why.

Missy could see love in the way he looked at Earth, taking in every detail of his surroundings, appreciating it, never taking a single atom on the planet for granted. 

She could see love in the way he had looked into Rose Tyler’s eyes, in the way he whispered his secrets into Martha Jones’ ear, in the way he took Clara Oswald’s hand and trusted her, despite everything the two of them had gone through.

And sometimes, just sometimes, Missy could see love in the way he looked at her.  
Missy wished she had to ability to love the way the Doctor did. She had tried—oh, she had tried so hard—but it never came as easily to her as it did to him.

One time, she had asked one of the Doctor’s current companions, Bill, how to love.

Bill laughed, crossing one leg over the other. “Okay. Wow. Big question.”

Missy looked away from her. “You don’t have to answer.”

“No!” Bill exclaimed. “I didn’t mean…I’d love to help, Missy. It’s just…a lot to think about, you know?”

Bill stood up. Missy watched her, trying not to show any signs of emotion. “Well,” Bill said, smiling kindly, “How ‘bout I make us some tea, and then we’ll talk?”

“I’m not a tea person.”

“You’re not even a person. You’re a Time Lady.”

“I—”

“Just drink the tea.”

And so, the human girl and the Time Lady sat together, drinking tea that was just a little too cold, although neither seemed to mind.

After taking a long sip, Bill set down her cup and turned to look at Missy. 

“Okay, first of all—you might not realize it, but you seeking me out for help actually speaks volumes. It’s clear that you WANT to learn how to love, as opposed to…the Doctor making me teach you against your will, for example.”

Missy sipped her tea, avoiding eye contact by staring at a spot about two inches to the left of Bill’s head. “Meaning?”

“Meaning that you’ve completed step one of changing—wanting to change.”

“Right. And what would step two be?”

Bill laughed. “Well…I guess it’s not as simple as that. Forget I mentioned steps.”

Bill took a deep breath, then continued. “I think part of your problem is that you’re imaging learning to love as…learning to love EVERYTHING all at once, which isn’t very realistic. Nobody can do that.”

Missy raised an eyebrow. “The Doctor can.”

“Doubt it.”

“Name one thing he doesn’t love.” Missy challenged smugly.

Bill thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. “The Daleks.”

Missy thought about it, then shrugged. “Actually, that’s fair.”

“My point is, don’t try to love everything right away. Just start off by loving a few little things. Just one thing, actually.”

Missy sipped her tea in silence.

Bill smiled. “So…can you think of anything? Anything at all that you love?”

Missy hesitated, drumming her fingers on the side of her cup. She quickly realized that she was tapping a familiar four-beat pattern onto it, and stopped herself. Old habits die hard, you know.

“I love…I…I love…” she faltered, uncertain of what to say.

Bill smiled sweetly at Missy as she struggled with the question. “It’s okay to take your time.”

“Shut up.” Missy snapped.

Bill crossed her arms, looking unamused. “Well, I certainly don’t love THAT.”

Missy sighed, giving up on stopping the movement of her fingers and allowing herself to continue tapping the cup.

Tap-tap-tap-tap.  
Tap-tap-tap-tap.  
Tap-tap-tap-tap.

Although Missy hadn’t literally heard the drums inside her skull for years and years, the beat was, unfortunately, hard to forget. 

“Why is this so hard?!” she moaned in frustration, the movement of her hands causing her cup to fall to the ground, causing tea to spill and spread across the wooden floor. Unphased, Bill picked up a rag sitting on a table nearby and mopped up the spill. “Just one thing. It can be anything, right?”

“Right.”

Missy sighed, and then she remembered why she had come to Bill for help in the first place.

Him.

The Doctor, and everything he did was stuck in her mind like that irritating drumbeat once was, never giving her a moment of peace.

She didn’t just want to love like the Doctor. She wanted to be loved by the Doctor. She…

“I love the Doctor.” Missy blurted out. 

Her face immediately turned red.

Bill’s mouth fell open in the shape of a perfect O. She looked away, took a long drink from her cup of tea, cleared her throat, then turned back to Missy, smiled. “Very good.”

In a flash, Missy had grabbed Bill by the collar and lifted her up above the ground, glaring coldly into her eyes. “Tell him I said that,” she snarled, “and I will break every bone in your body one by one.”

Bill put her hands up in surrender, laughing. “Okay, okay, point taken. I won’t tell him anything. Patient/doctor confidentiality and whatnot, right?”

Missy let Bill go and settled back into her seat, satisfied. “You’re a better doctor than the Doctor is.”

“I’m not even a doctor. I’m just a twenty-year-old you came to for advice out of nowhere.”

“Well, the only other person I could’ve asked was HIM, and, well, that certainly isn’t going to happen.”

Bill laughed. “You could’ve asked Nardole.”

Missy wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Absolutely not! You can’t tell that man anything, you look away for a millisecond and he’s already told the Doctor every single detail.”

Bill laughed again. “Yeah, you’re right.” She smiled and placed her hand on Missy’s, causing Missy to flinch, though she didn’t pull her hand away like she usually would. “Trust me, Missy,” Bill said. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

The faintest hint of a smile tugged at Missy’s lips. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure. How about we do this every week, and you can think of another thing that you love each time?”

Missy paused, uncertain, before nodding. “Okay.”


End file.
